Love in later years.

My Mother and her fiancee

Today’s health and beauty buzz is on finding love at any age. We all have the desire to be loved and cherished. Love not only feels good, but is vitally important for good health and general well being.
 Studies have proven that happily married couples suffer less from cardio vascular disease,have fewer colds, heal faster,feel less anxious, feel less hostile and depressed, have lower blood pressure and generally live longer healthier lives. Couples who sat close, talked for 10 minutes and then shared a long hug were found to have lower blood pressure and increased blood levels of oxytocin.The power of frequent daily hugging was found to be intense. Having someone who loves you and is looking out for you, cuts down on stress levels because it provides security and courage to face problems. 


With my mother’s wedding scheduled for the end of the month, I have decided to write about finding love in the later years of life.

Within weeks of relocating to the USA, my stepfather aged 56 at the time, died suddenly and unexpectedly. My mother, who was working long hours trying to establish a new business in a foreign country came home late to a dark and quiet house to discover that he had died.

Whilst this happened many years ago now, she lived alone seeking socialization and companionship during her free time solely from her family, particularly me.

Last May, before I went to spend some time in South Africa, I decided that I was going to register her on a very well known dating site. I spent a couple of hours downloading photographs of her and working on her profile. Within minutes of registering, she had 3 date requests!  Whilst she was very apprehensive, background checks are conducted on everyone prior to being listed on the site. It is recommended that you meet during the day for lunch or coffee in a public place and that you drive yourself to the venue. No address or telephone numbers are exchanged until mutually agreed upon.

Her fiancée was her 2^nd date which took place after I had already left on my trip. Upon my return 5 weeks later, they had moved in together. Who says the elderly move slowly? Certainly not where these two are concerned!

Six thousand singles from the US census were recently interviewed. The over 60ties were asked if they would make a long term commitment to someone who had everything that they were looking for, but they were not in love with? They were asked the same question with the second part being, but did not find them sexually exciting? The answers to both questions were an overwhelming “No”. The over 60ties were the least likely to compromise with romance and sex listed as being the most important criteria. There is the need to be madly in love as well as being sexually interested.

Most over 60ties are looking for companionship. Marriage is not the primary goal. Many are not looking to combine their finances and are understandably cautious about doing so. Younger people are looking to build a family together. Partner choices are made more from the prospective of having and raising children together.  The over 60ties have more freedom, allowing them to spend more time together to enjoy each other without the focus being solely on children as it is in so many marriages with young children. You can afford to be picky, although it is important to give the person a chance. During the singles study, one question asked was “did you ever meet somebody you did not think would be right at the time and then many years later fall madly in love with them? 35% answered “yes”.

Other important characteristics looked for were: - character, respect, trust, being a good confidant, having a sense of humor, not being stubborn, not watching too much T.V. and not talking too much!

Ways to meet other singles is to expand your social circle.

·        Join classes to meet people with similar interests. When people have similar interests, they often build a strong relationship.

·        Church groups and socials.

·        Singles travel groups and cruises. Make sure that your travel group is made up primarily of people of your own age.

·        Use a dating site.

·        Other senior groups.

                                                                        

If you have a parent like mine who refuses to help themselves, you might just have to give them more than just a friendly push!

I dedicate today's blog to my beautiful mother and her handsome husband to be. I wish them both all the happiness in the world. May they live a long, fulfilled and healthy life together filled with lots of love, laughter and joy.

Stay healthy, happy and safe.

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